Fallen angel.
- Mar 27
- 3 min read
I'm comfortable with Satan. I can be myself. I don't have to strive to be sinless. I have a kind heart, but I'm not sinless. I strive to be, but I fail.
Despite wanting to be bathed in God's light and be flawless, I am so comfortable cavorting with demons.
In a way, I feel like hell is my true home and heaven is someplace I can never be, because I belong down below.
This story is about Satan. Not my conflicted thoughts.
Satan's love known to me before mother of womb, before father of seed, before own self awareness.
From child of cot, my first conscious thought was the image of You buried deep within mind.
Your name known to me before love of my parents or spoken first word. Your name within mind, before milk of the breast, before light within eyes, before sunlight on face, before words within ears of jew Lord born of man.
Before eyes tried to open and focus on life, You spoke of true agony, found in human form, of blindness through minds held in God's angry storm, of souls blunted and shackled through dust on this Earth, of hollow awareness through wretched life's birth.
You gave terrible vision of humanity's final day, lost from existence, removed from a universe barren of life, extinguished through time and fading subsistence.
You gave a deep insight, a thirst for true knowledge, filling my mind with the truth of men's plight.
Fallen Angel I heard You, from the oldest of thoughts to this current day, through years of confusion of needing my faith both in You and my Lord, though I heeded your warning of iron and clay.
You told me of waste, of time within life, each second, its loss, within man's frail mind, of past life within memory not held within truth yet tainted with glamour of unstable thought.
You told me of years to be wasted through youth, in seeking the Lord, hiding man from his truth, all lost to a search of God's wells dried and arid, his journey foretold by You fallen Angel, true knowledge not held on this Earth's barren lands, true consciousness formed within men's hidden plane not gifted to minds still cursed with jews blame.
All came to pass, my lost fallen Angel. I look back on Your words, on your truth, on Your honesty. I accept my existence in fulfilling your prophecy.
Son of perdition.
Prince of the power of the air.
The ruler of this world.
All titles deserved, given by those who won't share Your true Name, far worse than imagined, far worse that Cruel Hunter, abasement of the Earth, Your cesspit forever, fury and hatred is Yours evermore, promised by Him to your lasting annulment, roaming this Earth in place of stripped sacrament, taking their God in vain through lost ages, obscuring their motive of building third temple, confusing man's mind with delusive mentation of leading to conflict from lowest of neighbors to greatest of leaders all lost in contention leading to wars most seeded upon your whispered false quarrel.
My pain is of Yours fallen Angel.
I feel You in every cell, every heartbeat, every thought, every breath.
I see Your weakness. I see through Your eyes, it's not Your hand offered, but mine, my love of you, my faith in you, my mind in you, always, in you.
You have me, in heart, in soul, in mind, my loyalty, my truth, is Yours.