Subscribe for latest content and updates.

This is a miserable, long winded, depressing, indulgent exploration into my childhood. It's long and may be upsetting. Read at your own discretion. I'd say to my friends and loved ones reading this blog, don't let it upset you, I wouldn't be 'me' without the childhood I lived through. I spent the first five years of my life locked in a bedroom. As bizarre as that sounds, that was my introduction to life here on Earth. My father was a sadist. Whatever he could imagine doing to

Some months ago, I came close to taking Satan's final marks on my flesh. Two sigils on my chest through a scarification process. The templates were created and sized for my chest. What the sigils look like doesn't matter for this blog. The templates were placed on my chest and my first thoughts were, you know what? These look fucking awesome. They suited my chest perfectly, one on each of the pectoralis major muscles. It might sound severe and all kinds of weird and OK, it is

I remember how I felt in the years before the turn, and how I felt during the turn, and how I've felt since. I'm not the same. There is a clear divide. I'm still that person from before, yet I'm also this person now. And I'm not the same. It split me. Changed me. Not all good. Not really all bad. But mostly perplexing depending on my mood. I certainly feel perplexed at the moment. If I told you how many decades I've been feeding, you'd probably tell me to piss off. I started

I wrote and created a song, some months after my girlfriend died to help as a coping mechanism. The song is called Baby and is track 10 on the music page. Some years ago, my wife's sister introduced me to her new girlfriend. And at first sight I felt her girlfriend was an interloper. My wife and her sister and I have a tight family, we live together, and I didn't want anyone else involved in our lives together. It may sound selfish but I was comfortable. I was happy, I felt s